Marshall RosenbergDr Marshall Rosenberg izraža v citatih spodaj kar lahko zaznavamo kot njegovo modrost in izkušnje glede praktične uporabnosti Avtentične komunikacije.
Hvala vam, Marshall. :)

Vir:
http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com

 

 

 

 

  • “The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.”

 

  • “Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you.”

 

  • “Use the words “I feel because I” to remind us that what we feel it isn’t because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I’ve made.”

 

  • “NVC shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, insults, or putdowns, and without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.”

 

  • “Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people – then you are not going to connect.”

 

  • “My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.”

 

  • “My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, ‘a place beyond rightness and wrongness.’

 

  • “Four D’s of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. ‘Deserve’ oriented language.”

 

  •  “Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them emphatically.”

 

  • “Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.”

 

  • “Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don’t see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.”

 

  • “If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.”

 

  • ” Violence results when people trick themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”

 

  • “When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) express nonviolently, or (c) take time out.”

 

  • “Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.”

 

  • “When we make mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.”

 

  • “NVC is interested in learning that is motivated by reverence for life, by a desire to learn skills, to contribute better to our own well-being and the well-being of others.”

 

  • “The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.”

 

  • “Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger.”

 

  • “Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any putdowns, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.”

 

  • ” If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person’s reasons to be for doing as we request?”

 

  • “Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what’s wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we’re going to get what we’re after.”

 

  • “To practice NVC, it’s critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.”

 

  • “Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.”

 

  • ” The number one reason that we don’t get our needs met, we don’t express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don’t our needs met, we don’t make clear requests.”

 

  • “Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.”

 

  • “NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.”

 

  • “Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together.”

 

  • “Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word ‘no’ without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.”

 

  • “Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.”

 

  • “NVC can be effectively applied at all levels of communication and in diverse situations: intimate relationships, families, schools, organizations and institutions, therapy and counseling, diplomatic and business negotiations, disputes and conflicts of any nature.”

 

  • “There are the two main reasons we don’t get our needs met. First, we don’t know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.”

 

  • “As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.”

 

  • ” Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena.”

 

  • ” Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.”

 

  • ”There are two things that distinguish truly nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, there is no enemy in the nonviolent point of view. You don’t see an enemy. Your thinking is clearly focused on protecting your needs. Second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.”

 

  • ” When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism.”

 

  • “When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It’s important that when we address somebody that we’re clear what we want back.”

 

  • “If I’m using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you’ll live longer. You’ll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody’s telling you what’s wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn’t getting met. Hear that they’re in pain. Don’t hear the analysis.”